Today’s anti-psalm was written by a friend of mine, Kristen Stewart. Kristen is married to Michael, is mom to two girls, and serves as Director of Communications at West End Community Church in Nashville, TN. You can catch her on Twitter here.
My reputation is my glory and my salvation;
I fear everything.
My performance is where I find my identity;
I live in constant anxiety.
When the ways of the world
chew me up and spit me out,
I delight in seeing my adversaries and haters
also struggle, stumble and fall.
Things aren’t going my way,
my heart is filled with fear;
Everyone is against me,
I wallow, worry and hide.
One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in my dream home,
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of my possessions
and to inquire of my investments.
For I will hide in my well-made shelter
in the day of trouble;
My self-sufficiency will be my cover;
I will lift myself up by my bootstraps.
My pride in myself will lift up my head,
above my neighbors all around me,
and I will offer to them
platitudes and looks of pity.
I will take joy in all my accomplishments.
Hear me, God, when I cry aloud;
just give me what I want!
You have said, “I am the Lord your God.”
My heart says to you,
“I am the author of my story.”
Hide me from the light of your truth.
Turn away from me so I can ignore you.
I don’t need any help.
But cast me not off; forsake me not,
In case I need your salvation!
When I feel abandoned by my friends and family,
I might need to feel like you are near.
Teach me the way of worldly success,
and lead me on a level path
because I like things to be easy.
Give me not up to the way of the cross;
for suffering and having people hate me
doesn’t feel like my best life now.
I believe that I shall look upon the success of my children
in the land of the living!
If you dream it, it can happen.